I experienced the miracle of childbirth right in the comfort of my own bedroom. It may sound crazy, but is it really? Home birth has been steadily gaining popularity in recent years, especially since the pandemic hit, although it still remains relatively uncommon. Did you know that anywhere between 60-80% of pregnancies are considered low risk, yet only 2% of births happen outside a hospital?
A lot of women fear birth in general because of the unknow, anything new is scary. But, many fear home birth in particular because, for most, it is outside the system they know – go to your OBGYN for your annuals, friends and family birth in a hospital, labor inductions are booked like work meetings, and medical interventions are common place.
As a soon-to-be mom, you might be contemplating various options, including home birth, and wondering if it’s the right choice for you. I, too, was once in your shoes, and today, I want to share my personal experience and the five reasons why I confidently opted for a home birth.
Reason 1: My House, My Environment, My Rules
I had no idea what I wanted my labor and birth experience to look like if I am being completely honest, I mean I had never had a baby and didn’t really have a ton of friends sharing their experiences. However, what I did know that I wasn’t an affirmations person and I didn’t want the bright lights and loud noises of a hospital. With having a home birth, I got to set my home up for everything I thought I may want when it came time for baby. Here are a few things I chose to have in my environment:
- Birth ball to bounce my contractions away on, ab-so-freaking-lutely!
- Birth pool in case I wanted a water birth, sure did have one but it never got fully filled before baby was ready to arrive (fun fact: my husband tried so hard to get it set up and filled but once my midwife arrive she said “stop trying to fill it up, you’re about to have a baby”)
- Dark room with twinkle lights since it was Christmas time – this one was actually not intentional but probably one of my favorite pieces of our birth because it set the tone of the room and honestly it was so beautiful and one of the things I loved most about our birth.
- Snacks, liquids, hydration packs. Did you know you CAN have food and fluid during labor? We were not only fully stocked and loaded with snacks and drinks, but encouraged by our team throughout the beginning stages of labor to prepare me for the harder, end stage of labor with fuel.
Even better, we didn’t have to worry about packing a suitcase and remembering to bring everything to the hospital with us and we didn’t have to load up a baby and nervously drive home after having a baby. We got to stay in the comfort of our own home the entire time.
The best part about being at home was just that, it was home. I knew I was in a safe and comfortable environment with everything I could possibly need. Home sweet home.
Reason 2: My Body Leads the Way
I had ZERO idea what to expect when it came to labor and delivery. I mean I researched natural birth plenty online and my midwife and doula had gone over everything with us at nauseum. No matter how much preparation I did, I ultimately had to surrender to my body and follow its lead, home birth allowed me to do just that.
Being at home, I wasn’t strapped up to any devices for constant monitoring of me and the baby, nor was I on a time clock to progress in order to avoid interventions, and I wasn’t forced into any positions.
Instead, I got to move freely and do what felt most comfortable to me by listening to my body. I began labor bouncing on my birth ball, then transitioned to our tub. However, I actually spent a majority of labor draped over my birthing ball on all fours, as that was what made contractions manageable. Once my midwife arrived, she recommended a change in position to help make it easier to deliver and that is where I spent the remainder of labor and delivery.
Our birth team offered continuous support, suggesting different approaches, but the final decisions were guided by my own intuition.
Reason 3: Assemble the Dream Team
That brings me to hiring your birth team. This was undoubtedly my top reason for choosing a home birth – having the freedom to curate a birth team that aligned with my values and desires. It was crucial for me to find providers who not only met my expectations for birth but also postpartum.
For me, finding a midwife who provided informed consent and encourage me to conduct my own research was essential; it was not her job to tell me what to do for me and my baby, that was mine. I ultimately found a midwife that I not only felt I could learn from, but also go out and have a glass of wine and talk for hours with. I think it is important that you find a midwife you are not only comfortable with but feel you have a strong relationship with; I mean y’all are going to get real up close and personal with birth, if you know what I mean, so you better not feel awkward just having a conversation with them.
Up next is a doula. A doula is an absolute MUST for a first time mom. Not only did our doula prepare us before birth with a class in our home before labor, but during labor she was support for both me AND my husband. This was so important because it was not only my first but also his, remember birth is an experience for everyone, not just mama.
Another thing I knew I wanted was birth photography, now my doula doubled as our photographer so that was a huge plus to not have to find another person. However, a reminder with this is if you have someone doing multiple things, they are trying to juggle multiple roles. There is a lot happening during birth, and it all happens so fast. Looking back now I think having one person for one role is critical and for our next birth I will definitely hire a doula and photographer separately.
Now there are additional players you can also add to your dream team like lactation consultants, pelvic floor specialists, and more. The best part about home birth is you get to decide what your team looks like, rather than showing up at the hospital and hoping your OBGYN is available and then getting random nurses and other specialists on staff.
Think about it, if you’ve been married you carefully selected your vendors to bring your vision to life on one of the most important days of your life. Why would you treat bringing your child into this world any differently? This is another “best day of your life” and I believe who you have on your birth team greatly impacts your birth experience, so why not find and hire the best people!? And personally, I don’t want someone in the room that I have NEVER met before and has not been with me every step of the way in the last 9 months.
I strongly encourage you to do the research and build your dream birth team because they ultimately shape your birth experience.
Reason 4: No Interventions, No Problem
Induction dates have become so common it’s unreal, roughly 25% of pregnancies have a scheduled induction date. I could go down a whole rabbit hole on this alone, but this is another conversation for another day.
I had zero interest in scheduling when my baby was going to arrive, I wanted to let nature take its course and for him to arrive when he was ready. Because due dates are really just guess dates, and I knew baby would come when he was ready.
Now don’t get me wrong, hospitals and interventions do have a time and place when it comes to birth. In an emergency, I think hospitals are an absolute must for the health of mama and baby. The problem has become medicalizing the majority births and introducing interventions that may not be needed, rather than letting them occur how nature intended.
My mindset was if it’s not an option, then it never crosses my mind. With home birth, medical interventions are not really an option, unless you transfer, so not having them constantly presented to me throughout labor, allowed me to stay present and not think I needed them. I was allowed to be in total labor bliss and surrender my body to the process and do what it already knows how to do.
Also, I was not on a time clock to progress at a “specified rate”, mind you I did progress EXTREMELY quick for my first baby (my labor was only 8 hours long). But still, I was not stressed by having to progress, or interventions would start being offered.
For me, not having to constantly fight a battle of interventions being recommended was important for my mental state. I wanted to birth the way nature intended it to be, and if an emergency presented itself then I was open to a transfer for the health of me and the baby.
Reason 5: Bonding, Family, and Peace and Freaking Quiet
This is my favorite reason for home birth. Not only is there increased bonding between mama and baby but even more is the family involvement in the labor and delivery process. My husband wasn’t just holding my hand or my leg throughout labor but rather he was an active part of the whole process. From coaching me through breathing as we waited for my midwife and doula to arrive, to sitting behind me and holding me as I delivered our baby. Our oldest son got to meet our new addition within hours of him being born and didn’t have to wait to come to the hospital and visit. We got to integrate our new baby into our lives immediately and didn’t have to make that transition home from the hospital.
After our baby was born the bonding experience was unmatched to hospitals. I was allowed to bond with my baby for the first 2 hours, completely uninterrupted. He was not taken away from me for measurements and other things (different conversation for a different day) but rather vitals were taken with him on my chest. For 2 hours we bonded with skin-to-skin contact and learned how to breastfeed. He was taken for vitals and weighed AFTER the first 2 hours of bonding, but it was all done right next to me.
Another perk of home birth is there isn’t a revolving door of people checking in on you after birth. Our team was with us for the first 30 minutes or so after birth, and then let us be as a family to bond for the next 90 minutes while they charted and left us alone. After the first 2 hours they came back in to check on me and baby and get final vitals before leaving. And then guess what? They left. They seriously left our home and that was it. We got to do everything with our baby from the minute he was born, and we weren’t being checked on every hour. We were left to rest and figure it out together from the start.
I honestly couldn’t imagine having my baby taken from me right after he was born, or being interrupted in the hours after having him for constant check ins. My body was exhausted, and being left to bond and rest was exactly what we needed.
Let’s Wrap This Shit Up
After I had my baby, I literally told my husband and my midwife “I want to do it all over again.” And yes, I even mean enduring the painful ring of fire that felt like it went on for eternity, but was likely only a matter of minutes. I wholeheartedly believe my love for my birth experience stems from having a home birth.
I made the choice to have a home birth because it allowed me to be in the comfort of my own home and familiar environment, I was able to listen to my body’s cues and let my instincts guide me, I assembled a dream team of support around me, tailored to my needs and desires, to create the perfect birth experience. The constant recommendation for medical interventions was absent, which gave me the freedom to trust in my body’s natural abilities. And once our baby arrived, we had the ultimate bonding and family experience, surrounded by peace and tranquility.
For me, home birth was never a question. However, I understand that it may be a topic of fear and uncertainty for some women. I want to assure you that it doesn’t have to be.
I am not here to tell you to have a home birth. That is a decision entirely up to you. Take the time, do the research, and decide if home birth aligns with your desires and circumstances. And if you do decide that it’s what you want, I’m here to tell you that you absolutely can do it mama. Everything you need is already inside you.
As you embark on this incredible journey, it’s important to know that you have options. You don’t have to have your baby in the hospital because that is what’s “normal” and “what everyone else is doing”. Choosing home birth was a deeply personal decision for me, and while I get it might not be for everyone, I encourage you to explore your options, interview different providers, ask all the questions, and then decide what is best for you, your baby, and your family. Remember, this is your journey. Trust your instincts, follow you intuition, and surround yourself with a supportive team who will honor and respect your choices.
With love,
